I am a BBW


Here we go, the big one (pun not intended). I have a lot of people message me about my confidence and how I can wear clothes that are not necessarily designed for my body. I understand that us big girls (and skinny girls) are out here fighting the good fight towards body positivity. But honey, we’ve got a long way to go…

Let’s begin with the term “BBW” standing for Big Beautiful Woman, it originated in the porn and fetish scene and then made its way into the mainstream through references from Drake and J Hus - although I’m pretty sure they are not talking about a woman my size, but a woman who fits the definition of “thicc”. However, I might be wrong. If Drake really likes his girls BBW, someone give him my number!

Although the term has got one foot in the mainstream world, it definitely has one foot firmly stuck in the world of fetish and porn. You can type the term “BBW” into youtube, hoping to find videos about body positivity and find only fetish videos and interviews with pornstars.

So, I was tentative to even use this word. For the longest time, it made me uncomfortable when guys would message me, talking about how I was a BBW because I think it goes against what I was brought up with. The beauty standards of the 00s were definitely very different to what they are now. Skinny was in, Kate Moss was our queen and the pain of being called “big” was close to the love of your life dumping you.

So fast forward 10 years and men are hailing you as a Big Beautiful Woman, you’re going to be a little confused. The first two terms seem to contradict one another. But, for the sake of labelling - and also giving this post a title - we’re going to go with BBW.

I know a lot of you will say I could of gone with “plus size” and I get that, it is a term that is widely used and many are comfortable with. However, when I see the Ashley Grahams of the modelling world - not that I don’t respect her - I don’t see my body. I see women who are big in comparison to the already existing models, which to me, really isn’t that big. I feel the new definition of “plus size” is big bum, thick thighs, flat belly and well, that just isn’t me (or many bigger women I know).

The inspiration for this post came from a little yellow dress. I mainly dress vintage nowadays, but nothing beats a cozy jumper dress. So, I proudly walked into a store that I thought was not plus size friendly - which still feels a little daunting, even now - and I picked up a mustard jumper dress.


Now yes, it was very short, and it was form fitting, but I found myself looking in the mirror thinking “Yes, this works for me.” I understand that the team who designed it probably didn’t have me in mind. But, I was wearing it, and it looked cute. One quick poll on instagram later, I bought it.

I am about to say something controversial: I don’t think the world is ready for real BBW positivity. They might have been cool with size 14 girls wearing miniskirts and reading their Cosmos with Tess Holliday posing on the cover. But when it comes to seeing tree trunk thighs, a belly and uncomfortably wide hips in real life? Nah, the world just isn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready for a long time, hiding behind my hair, my makeup, anything I could find. But slowly, you gain confidence and the rebel in me loves going against the grain.

The first time I wore the yellow dress, people stared with expressions of horror on their faces. Middle aged women looked as if I was breaking some unspoken law that fat girls should cover up, older men looked on with wide eyes and young women, who no doubt were aware of the body positivity movement looked back with disgust on their faces.

What did I do? I laughed. Because to me, the idea that people are so horrified by how someone else looks is hilarious. Imagine being so shocked by a body that you looked back in awe and disgust. Maybe to them my body is gross, that’s cool. There are plenty of people I see wearing outfits I don’t like, but I never show it on my face, never give them that “why the hell are you wearing that” face.

It is true that there aren’t a lot of girls my size walking around east london in little jumper dresses, but I think that sucks and needs to change! I have just as much right to wear a cute little dress as a girl who is a size 8.

To everyone who has laughed at me, or gawked at me, or looked back at me in disgust, thank you. You are the reason that I dress the way I do. Because, until people no longer stare and act as if it is not normal, I’m going to keep strutting my big sexy arse around in a little dress.

Because not all big women are just thicc, with big bums and boobs (no shade). We are lumpy and big and sometimes disproportionate, and that is OKAY! I believe that plus size has become such a convoluted term, that has grown out of itself.

So, even if it still has one foot in the porn industry, I’m claiming it. I am big, I am beautiful and I am a woman. So guess what? That makes me a BBW and until the world is cool with women and men not fitting the current standard of “plus size” beauty I am going to keep wearing my little yellow dress with pride and smiling at the scowls.

Let me know how you feel about the term “plus size” and whether you would make the change to Big Beautiful Woman?!

Until next time,
Stay Peachy,
Paige xx